Adjustment

The other day while we were waiting anxiously for Monica to bring Neela to us, I was pacing the room, excited and yet nervous and maybe a bit scared of an 18 month old I had yet to meet. Dave gave a knock on the wood to pretend it was the door and I freaked out. Finally she arrived and the minute she was in my arms I was fine again despite the hour long screaming in my ear. She was ours and that was that. Neela, however, has not yet decided that we are hers.

The first day seemed great. Sure she screamed initially, but she seemed to settle in and adapt to us relatively quickly. When she wakes up in the morning and sees me again, she has a look of disappointment as if to say, "Oh, its still you guys." It has only been just over 24 hours since she met us and I know we need to give it time, but it is disappointing when you wait so long for this person and then they arrive, but sometimes appear to hate you. She does seem to be attaching to Dave quite well and often reaches to him for comfort or to get away from me. He's a silly guy and she seems to like it just like the boys do! He is her "ba ba", but I am definitely not her "ma ma". That person is somewhere outside our door.

For the most part, she is doing relatively well and has a lot of good times where she lets out a smile or is having a good time investigating and exploring new things. And then all of sudden, she turns on a dime and has a major meltdown. When she is done with something she is done, period, and let's you know it in no uncertain terms. Then once we move on to the next place (usually outdoors if not at least out of the hotel room) she is instantly satisfied. She pulls us around by the finger and has a very strong grip and pull. She seems to be telling us that she is in charge, not us. She is a very determined person and has got a lot of muscle to put behind it. Someday these characteristics will serve her well. Today, they are making me tired.

Below is a picture of how she fell asleep this evening. She refused to let me cuddle her and hold her next to me, so she fell asleep sitting up on me after exhausting herself with all of the yelling. I think it really is yelling - she points at the door and squeezes up her face and yells in anger and grief. Sometimes I feel like I am taking her away from her little family she was living with, such as it was. It was all she knew and now it is gone.