Building trust

HanRui seems to be trusting us a bit more.   She comes to us for help.  She let's me take care of her boil. (Yes, we are once again doing self-care for a newly adopted kid with a boil. See previous posts from when we were here in 2007. We are avoiding the doctor this time around.)  

She asks me or Neela to help put barrettes in her hair.  She let's me hold her hand for a bit in traffic or on difficult stairs.   She let's Dave help with things, too.  She wants to show us things that she writes in her notebook or puts together on a toy we brought.  And she invited me to come and dance at the park last night with all of the ladies.   I went out there and started dancing.  She did not join in - she just laughed at my dancing : )

We had a nice evening last night.  We started out in search of a light dinner.   This takes effort.  We finally found a little take-out dumpling place.   We agreed HanRui and I would try to order and Dave would take Neela to find a bathroom (and toilet tissue on the way).  

I pointed to the sign and used a few Chinese words. I want 2 plates of dumplings,  not in soup and not with cheese on top and for take-out.  Ok. Sit down and wait a bit.  They finally came,  but we're cold and uncooked.  No, no, no.  I tried to have HanRui help.  Hot? "hot" she repeated. No, in chinese!  She started talking to the guy. I don't know what they were saying.  I heard si. That is 4. Sure enough he brought out 4. Well,  she knew we were 4 people after all.  No I only want 2. 

By that time Dave got back with his Google translate. Hot. Re.  Oh!!  Yes.  He went to get them.  I wanted to make sure we got chopsticks but couldn't remember the word.  I pointed to some on the table. "HanRui, zhe shi.... zhe shi...." "This is...this is...."   "kuaizi!" she says. Oh yes.  Are there kuaizi in the bag? Yes!   Thank you!  Good-bye!  

We headed out to the park to eat.  At first she did not want to go in.  Cats.  No cats I told her and we went in.  This is one of my favorite things about China.  In the evening,  after the sun is down and it is cooler,  everyone comes out to the park or the square.    The park was a sea of organized movement.   Ladies line dancing in all corners of the park.   A parade of people walking all one way around the main circular path for exercise.   And the more chaotic movement of kids and babies playing and biking and skating in the big open area. 

We then went back to the hotel to have the girls shower and get ready for bed.  Wan an, HanRui.  A peaceful night.  She was tucked in. Neela and I were doing our thing where she asks a million questions at bed time.  

Finally Neela quieted too.  I heard a rustling of blankets.   HanRui was rolling back and forth.  It is an institutional  life behavior.  No one to calm and comfort them,  they rock themselves to sleep.   I went to rub her back and say goodnight again and she settled.  Sad for her that she never had anyone to rock her to sleep.   And sad for me as I have to let go of the false thought that she had had a foster family and things would be easier for her.